I have really gotten lazy about writing on this blog. At first I was excited because it was something new and different. I started telling my life story to get naked on the web about who I am but that became to painful. I have to take a breath from that for just a little while anyway, this time of year is pretty raw and full of emotion. Now I just don't know what to talk about.

I guess I can fill you in on what has been going on in my life now. Gary and I finished the building out back. My new office/ work area. It's a 20 x 24 metal building. I have it fixed up pretty nice. And last week an old friend of mine had gotten word that I needed heat in the building. He called out of the clear blue one day last week, he had a commercial unit he had taken out of a school. He came looked at the shop and said it would work if I wanted it. I now have heat!! Now for those of you that are thinking "wow, that was luck" I say to you, "no, that is God".

I told you both my company vans had gone down at the same time, well my husband, not the mechanic, decided he could fix it! Word to the wives, if your husband offers say yes, but have a back=up plan just in case it doesn't turn out like he hoped..... The heat wasn't working on either van, I called the professionals to find out what it would cost to have it fixed ..cost $200.00 for both vans.. Gary insisted he could fix it. Ten days later, I have two new heater coals.. cost 150.00, a new alternator.. cost $ 68.00, two new heater control valve.. cost $15.00 each, and no blinkers or brake lights!!! Go figure that one out. The fact that he tried.....Priceless.

My audit was Wednesday, young man from Jonesboro came and spent the entire day with me looking over my books. I will admit, I am no bookkeeper. But after this, I will take a refresher course in Accounting 101. It was horrible. We only got through 2004 and 2005 when we quit and so far I am owing the IRS $2000.00. Lesson 1. Never trust a contractor. Lesson 2. Keep all receipts. Lesson 3. Write everything down. Lesson 4. Hire someone who is a good book keeper. Part 2 is coming up this Thursday years 2006 and 2007. I can't wait. We both left the office with headaches. Note: God has already provided the money to pay the IRS as long as I don't exceed 5000.00. He is so faithful

My surgery was Thursday on my head. They put me to sleep and removed 28 lesions from my head. It's called Seborrhea Kerotosis. He removed 33 from my right side, chest area and back. They are like moles that get large and crusty. Gross huh. sorry, to much information. I have been pretty sore the last few days. This too shall soon pass.

I slept all day. I needed to. Something I very rarely get any more is a good nights rest. I am going this Friday to have a sleep study done to see why. Doc seems to think I have sleep apnea with insomnia. Long story.

I go to an Oncologist Friday too. That's scary. I'm not really scared, a little concerned maybe.
My philosophy is this.... I have faced allot of bad news in my life... if I can bury my mother,father and two children and survive that...there is absolutely nothing I can't get through because I thought that would kill me. Whatever turns up I know God will see me through it, He always has.

I have had my son Brad on my mind allot lately. Been going through a very emotional time. November 14 it will be 3 years since his death. November 22 it will be 30 years since my mother's death, November 22 is my son's Chad's birthday he would be 25 years old, it's been 19 years since his death. Kayla's birthday is the 20Th of November, she will be 19 and Gary's birthday is November 21, he's 54, and my sister's birthday is the 23rd November. And then there's Christmas.

I hope you are not reading this and rolling your eyes saying to yourself "what a whiner!" I am not whining about this season of my life. That is what this is.... a season. I know this is not going to be forever. Just something God is showing me, teaching, and leading me through right now.
In the book of Ecclesiastic it says "There is a time and a season for everything..." I just came through a season of prosperity, a season of health issues and a season of renewing. And though it was difficult in places, it was worth it. It was a time of intimacy, refreshment, and renewing with my relationship with my Abba Father. He taught me to "be still" and "wait", He taught me limits, and He taught me different ways that God shows His love to me through blessings of friends and encouragement.

No one likes to go through rough times, we would all like to live in Eden, but the truth of the matter is I am a better person on the other side of whatever trial I am going through. If I just let go and let God show me what He wants me to learn. I believe we go through these seasons because God is trying to show us something, to build our character and to make us more like Him. I also believe that it is in the trials that we find out what we are made of. I should be 10 feet tall and bullet proof but for whatever reason I still have a lot more growing to do.

Moral of this Blog: If you are going through a difficult season just remember it won't last forever and there are things to be learned. Allow God to build your character.

Happy Birthday Brad

Is anyone still interested in what has happened in my life? I'm not. I am going to switch gears for a little while unless I get some feed back on what you have been reading. I feel like know one is listening any more. Bored or something, So FEED Back please or I am going to quit.


I'm sorry for not blogging the last few weeks, I have had allot going on. My son. Brad's Birthday, was October 22... he would have been 22 years old. It was the last weekend we spent together 3 years ago. I drove to Rogers, Arkansas and spent the weekend with him.
It was an awkward weekend. Not the usual laughs.

He introduced me to his girlfriend Brittney. I had heard all about her over the past few months via telephone. He called me every night when he got off work and we would talk until he got to his driveway.


The first night I arrived I wanted to take Brad out to dinner and get caught up on some of the open ended conversations we had that week. He invited Brittney. I wasn't thrilled about this because I wanted to spend time with Brad. I tried to have a conversation with her several times throughout the night, you know the usual .... what do your parents do?... What do you plan to do after college?.... Where did you grow up?... blah..blah...blah. But honestly I wasn't interested. I wanted to hear about my son's stuff. I tried. I was glad when the dinner was over because it was all about her and I was tired of trying to make conversation, with Brad he controls the conversation, I don't have to try so hard. But I wanted to make him happy after all it was his Birthday. We took her home and went back to the motel where we laid across the bed for hours laughing, talking and eating. He closed all the conversations we had started earlier that week and we feel asleep talking about what we were going to do the next day.


We had an enjoyable day at the mall, eating in our favorite restaurant, and hanging out on campus at the Chi Alpha house with his friends and going to see the Razorbacks play football. They lost but it was still fun.


Of course Brad was worried about what I thought of his girlfriend. I assured him she seemed nice enough and if he likes her then i do. But honestly I didn't see this lasting long and I didn't like her. She didn't seem to be Brad's type. I always seen Brad with a girl who enjoyed life the way he did. Someone who would laugh at all his jokes, like hanging out with his friends and someone who could carry a conversation. Brittney was quite, a little on the high maintenance side, and didn't like hanging out with Brad's friends. She wanted her way and I saw Brad giving in allot, too much. And maybe I was jealous. I was jealous of the time she took away from me that weekend.

Sunday we went to church and I left for home. We would continue to call each other every night at 11:45 pm he would call and we would talk all the way to the house. I miss him everyday but this time of year gets pretty hairy for me.

My health is not real good. I have been real sick with vomiting and dirrea for the past 4 weeks. I have lost 11 lbs!!! I love the idea I have lost weight but hate the way I lost it. My doctor has done an ultrasound on my kidneys, liver, spline, gall bladder and stomach. My plates are through the roof and my white count is high and their concern is that they are not coming down. my doctors feel it may be cancer related. So I have an appointment with an oncologist on the 9Th. Please keep me in your prayers.

I am in the middle of an audit on my business, that started on the 31st October. I had head surgery on the 1st of November, they took off 28 sores on my head and 22 off my sides, breast and back. Both of my company vans went down at the same time and my health is in the tubes!
Now it may sound like I'm complaining but I'm not, I'm sharing:)

I have been down for a couple of weeks but I'm not out! I told my husband that I felt like I was in the eye of a hurricane. Have you ever been in the eye of a storm? I have when hurricane Hugo hit Charleston in 1989. When the eye came on shore, it was very calm, still,and peaceful, but you know there was destruction going on all around you. That is how I have felt for several weeks. I am at peace knowing God is watching out for me. He has been very present through it all. I have been standing in the storm at peace, still and calm through it all. People that don't know or understand the character of God question "how, with all your going through, can you be at peace?" And the answer to the question is simply FAITH, TRUST, and ASSURANCE. I know that no matter what the end result is in all of this mess that God is in control.

I am reminded of a popular christian song " I Will Praise You in this Storm" and
"Jesus send the Rain". God is teaching me through all this that it is only in the trials that you find out the stuff you're made of. Well, friends, I must be 10 foot tall and bullet proof!!! :)

Well I must get to bed, I have a busy weekend ahead of me going through paperwork for the Audit.

I won't wait so long to follow up.