Do It Anyway.. Love One Another

People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered

LOVE THEM ANY WAY

If you do good, people will accuse you of ulterior motives

DO GOOD ANY WAY

If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies

BE SUCCEED ANY WAY

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow

DO GOOD ANY WAY

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable

BE HONEST AND FRANK ANY WAY

What you spend years building can be destroyed overnight

BUILD ANY WAY

People really need help but may attack you when you help them

HELP THEM ANY WAY

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth,

GIVE THE WORLD YOU'VE GOT ANY WAY

Words to live by. From a sign on the wall of Shishu Bhavan, the Children's home in Calcutta that hung in Mother Teresa's office. I love this. If we quite doing things for each other because we might get hurt, unrecognized, or a waste of time, God's work would never get done. Mother Teresa was a good example of what it means to do it anyway regardless of the sacrifice.

"If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other."

The Bible reads from Leviticus to Revelation Love one another....Love your neighbor as your self...and the greatest of these is Love....God is love..... Mother Teresa had it right when she said "we belong to each other.. " It is easy to love the people far away. It is not always easy to love those close to us. It is easier to give a cup of rice to relieve hunger than to relieve the loneliness and pain of someone unloved in our own home. Bring love into your home for this is where our love for each other must start. Everybody today seems to be in such a terrible rush, anxious for greater developments and greater riches and so on, so that children have very little time for their parents. Parents have very little time for each other, and in the home begins the disruption of peace. We think sometimes that poverty is only being hungry, naked and homeless. The poverty of being unwanted, unloved and uncared for is the greatest poverty. We must start in our own homes to remedy this kind of poverty. I want you to be concerned about your next door neighbor. Do you know your next door neighbor? If you judge people, you have no time to love them. Jesus said love one another. He didn't say love the whole world. They could be Jesus in disguise. Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do... but how much love we put in that action. God doesn't require us to succeed; he only requires that you try. Let us make one point, that we meet each other with a smile, when it is difficult to smile. Smile at each other, make time for each other in your family. Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing. Moral of this Blog: "whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." - 1 Corinthians 10:31

TGIF

The end a very long, emotionally draining week. I don't recall one day that there was not some kind of drama. I hate drama, it wears me out. I will say, re-living the event that took place during the death of my son, Chad, was very therapeutic. It is not something I think about a lot any more. Time does heal many wounds, I am still licking my newest wound, Brad.

I am looking forward to this weekend. My nephew, Landon is playing in the GCT Basketball Tournament. They win, they lose, they win they lose. Like being on a roller coaster, but fun to watch. Maria has never seen a basketball game, she went with me tonight. "I bloody well don't get it", she said. "What is the point, exercise?, they run back and forth with the ball and they don't do anything. I like Rugby, at least it is exciting." This is when we lost 30-17. Not exciting, I agree Maria.

Well, I hope everyone has a great weekend. I am looking forward to some quite time alone with God, Gary and Maria. Perhaps we will catch Sherek 3 or Oceans 13 this weekend.

Moral of this Blog: Rest: peace of mind or spirit; to repose; to take relief.
Psalm 55:6 " Oh, that I had the wings of a dove! I would fly away and be at rest-"

..... Day 3 The Scream Heard Round the Island

Day 3 ........... Up at 8 am ....slept to long....mad that no one woke me... left house went to boat shed... what if he came and I wasn't there..will he forgive me for not taking better care of him..

Chad no where to be found...but she said he will "be found when the sun shines off the metal roof....Rescue begins early...low tide... reports come to find me lots of questions still no answers...
10:30 am..Rick comes to boat shed."Chad has been found" oh praise you Father in heaven for answering my prayer..Is he OK, is he OK?! silence pierced the island...no boat motors, no airplane engines, no helicopters, no sound...Rick calls the family to the porch like a drill Sargent..."can I have your attention? They found Chad...gasp, sighs, tears. He is dead. Screams so loud they echoed across the island...still today..some natives of Wadmalaw say it is a scream they have not forgotten... His body was found a fourth of a mile from where they believe he went in... His boat was found 5 piers down.. they believe the current carried him.... the rescue divers and volunteers seen the dolphins swimming and jumping, a sure sign of a body in those parts.the natives of the island refer to dolphins as the protectors of the sea, they keep the fish, sharks and other sea creatures away...."his body was found near an old boat shed, boat was upside down under the shed, white paint had faded from the years of sitting, and it was at the edge of Bohicket Creek wildlife refugee..." Rick seemed to have lost all emotion...almost angry at me..at God..at me.

Almost minutes after making his announcement of the loss of our son he tells me to get my things we are going home. Home? I'm not ready for home ... his room..his bat..his toys... his smelly t-shirt I took off of him before we left... Gloria insist we stay a little longer for the family to calm... no we are leaving.

The ride home..30 minutes... silence.. me crying..confused I prayed for his safe returned..I promised I would do anything he ask..Why!? Brad is with the family... not sure of what has happened..wants to know why Chad can stay at [Aunt] Glo's and he can't...pouty...mad...

Arrived at the house by noon...family a short distance behind...Rick makes me get out of the car...angry..confused...no emotion..military...men don't cry...men don't show feelings in front of people..wife doesn't understand....the first thing I see as I enter the house is the glass he was drinking from, he had left it on the coffee table...his socks lying next to his play shoes .... his bat he was playing with in the backyard...I laid across my bed clutching the bat remembering the spanking he had gotten that morning....praying to God I would wake up from this nightmare...I never did. Three of the longest days of my life.

It has been 19 years my son has been gone... dreams shattered, hopes gone. Chad was my first born..oh the plans you make..first day of school, first tee ball, little league, baseball coach...first date, first prom, first everything...gone with one unforgettable phone call.."Why don't you and the boys come out to the island and spend the day with me..I could use your help today? And I will fix dinner. Sure we would love too ." ...Never imagining it would change your life forever.. twice. Gloria is not to blame it was her destiny.

God says are days are numbered. He knew before we were born when we will die..the month/day/year. So many times i have wondered through the years what if I had not of
been so quick to say yes to Gloria in her time of need...would this date still have been his
death? Oh the regrets..the guilt...the shame...the years. Chad was flown home to Paragould and his body laid to rest on June 12,1988 Rick's Birthday...at Finch Cemetery.Moral of this Blog:

"The righteous(and the young) pass away, the Godly die before their time. No one seems to care or wonder why.No one seems to understand that God is protecting them from the evil to come and the Godly (young) who die will rest in peace." NLT ...of the comfort of God's word

..... Day 2

Day 2.I'm up at 4:30am Gloria's knock out pill didn't last long...but I needed the nap for the strength I am going to need today...Rescue begins at 6:oo am because of low tide....Island is swarming with news reporters...CNN, ABC, Local networks....local newpapers....Rick arrives at 7:00am...He is told all we know at this point..."why weren't you watching the boys out here??!!" What??!! Oh my god... the guilt...darkness.. set in deep within my soul where it would stay for years to come making... itself at home in my mind, heart, soul....God forgive me for not being a better protector... my sisters Christy and Angie flew in to the Charleston airport at noon...Hilary seens a limo to bring them to the island... a great support for Gloria and me... Rick has not left the shore... Coke, Pepsi, Burger King, KFC, local stores, keeping supplies for Rescue workers and volunteers... 3pm Christy decides to call her Psychic in Jonesboro to help.. Carol. " he is safe, he will be found next to a boat shed, white boat, wooded area"... Hope... I know where she is talking about, was there yesterday while searching for him.. got in my car with a bull horn...drove to the boat shed where the white boat sat 200 feet from the woods... sat waiting......it is dark still no signs of Chad....calling out to him praying he will follow my voice and walk out of the woods... scared, glad to see me... waiting....8 pm Nan, Joan, Carolyn, Uncle Randal, Aunt Joella, arrive in Charleston after driving all day to get to me... Rick comes to the boat shed tells me to ride into town to get them with Christy and Angie... but what he comes out and I'm not here?... He insist.. we go... 8:00pm Ruscue search stops will resume am... surrounded by love, support..many questions...no answers....no sleep... Joan insist I take something to help me sleep....I did....

In Memory of Chad Dawson

It was a day like any other. June 6, 1988. A beautiful sunny, warm day filled with many events. Breakfast on the back porch-grits and butter-watching the squirrels play, the boys playing tee-ball with the set I purchased the day before. Phone rings-Gloria needs help- 400 people expected next weekend for grad party_ Chad hits Brad with plastic bat because he wouldn't give his ball back...Brad crying, Chad gets spanked, Gloria in panic...we go to the island of Wadmalaw. McDonald's happy meals for lunch, new toy-blow up boat. We arrive at 1:00p.m. Glo and I sit and watch my boys play..talk about the big event... pick blackberries for dessert... then it's off to work we go. 2:00p.m. Cleaning glass, polishing silver, washing china...meanwhile, Chad and Brad are playing the tree out front...hear laughter...boys have come in and ask several times when we are going to the water to sail my new boat? When [Aunt] Gloria and I finish the Dining room we will walk over and play with the boat. I promise.

3:15 p.m. Dining room done. Check list complete. Brad walks into Dining room-arms folded, head bowed, lip puckered, frown. "Chad went to the water and he won't let me go" looked out window-gate wide open Chad no where in sight. Panic-angry-disobeyed first rule: can only leave the yard with me, Gloria or John. Gloria watched Brad, left to walk over to the water. Chad no where to be found. Panic- thought he heard me calling him-took the other path home. Buckshot, black lab, running towards me, running in circles, running to the pier and back ...thought...wants to play...don't have time....came back to house-Chad no where to be found. Panic-Fear-Worry. Gloria, Brad and I went back to the water. Chad no where to be found. Panic-Fear-Worry-Anxiety. I walk to the Yacht club to see if he had gone to see [Uncle] John. Chad no where to be found. No one had seen him. Bee was to busy in her garden to notice if he had came this way, will help search. Go back to house to see if he is there yet.... no!!!! Total Panic-Several people looking now...Where is he? Is he hiding because he knows I'm upset? Is he afraid to come out for fear of breaking the rule? Does he know his way home? Has he been kidnapped? no...everybody on the island knows him..me...Is he hurt..unconscious somewhere...can't hear us calling him...dead...No can't go there...lost....he must me lost...can't find his way home..must find him..getting late...

4:30 p.m.- I call 911"My 6 year old son has been missing for some hour and half, please send help!!!" Where are you located? Wadmalaw Island! We are sending someone out." 4:45 p.m. Buckshot, black lab, brings Chad's flip flop out of the water gives to Gloria 4:50 p.m. Gloria calls 911 "WERE ARE YOU! We have a 6 year old boy believed drown, please send help." What? NO THIS CAN"T BE.

5:43 p.m. Island is covered- Rescue Divers start search at 6:15 p.m., Rescue Helicopters, Boats, volunteers, neighbors, blacks and white together searching for my son, all over the island now. Chad no where to be found. Rescue stopped at 8:45 p.m getting to dark to see...will resume 6:45 a.m. tomorrow...no you can't stop looking... finally reach Rick in Norfolk Virginia....out playing pool with friends...Chad is missing, please come home...I need you!!!....Gloria calls in all family....she needs them... can't sleep.......

Dear God in heaven, please let him be okay, please help us find him, please i beg you..I will do anything you ask ...please let him come home before dark....please make this nightmare go away..please I promise.. I will do anything...I swear.

11:55p.m. Chad no where to be found..Its dark.. Is he scared,cold,safe. Gloria gave me a pill to help me to sleep...don't want to sleep..need to be Looking ... waiting ... watching .... praying .... praying .... can't sleep....crying to sleep..

Hidden Blessings

We are so blessed with many things
We’re blessed with good and bad
We’re blessed with things that make us smile
Some that make us sad

Some blessing are the gifts we have
And talents we possess
Like paintings or a song we sing
Or writings we express

These blessings help us grow inside
While sharing things we do
And often help the other folks
To see the hard times through

Some things are so difficult
The blessings hard to see
They often cloud or grip our lives
In spite of prayerful pleas

If we can learn to see the good
In things that get us down
Then we can see the blessing
In things that make us frown

It must have been so very hard
For Mary on that day
To watch her son be crucified
As she knelt down to pray

He was the perfect Son of God
So young, with much to do
And yet He was called home to God
A tortured death gone through

As we recall our Saviors life
And then our lives compare
It seems a little easier
To see the joy we share

For He has risen home to God
In heaven ‘s home above
And we can each be joining him
Because of the Fathers love

I want to thank you one and all for your comments to the things you are reading on my blog. I sometimes forget that you are there as I sit here in the quite of my room and try to type as fast as mind thinks...that can be tricky..most of you know I talk so imagine how difficult it is to type that fast:) I want you to know from the deepest place in my heart I do not write for your entertainment, I write for my therapy. I needed a place to sort some things out, and I have found an outlet for my sometimes twisted thoughts and emotions that have been bottled up for years. It is difficult to find friends who just want to be there for you. Most feel the need to council, others feel that don't know what to say so they just stay away, and then there are those who just don't really care because it is all about them...you have someone that just popped in your head didn't you:) I feel like I am talking to God not you. I am grateful that you tune in and enjoy my conversation with Him, but I do not blog to offend, to stir up trouble or to single out. I blog because God has given me a gift to express what I feel it is sometimes an eye opener to me by just putting it out there, perhaps you have read something that got you to think about the very thing I myself was wondering, or perhaps you read something that touched you in the same way it touched me when I stopped typing long enough to go back and read what my fingers are saying. If that is the case Praise God for His wonderful insight to you and to me. Please don't take it personal its about me, not you. I love to write poems, I love to express what God is doing in my life and I love that although I may not be able to sit down over a glass of Gary's famous sweet tea, that I can share it with you on my blog. I didn't realize how many people are reading this each day. But I love the comments I am recieving through my email and I love that you are being Blessed.Moral of this blog: "How we praise God the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we belong to Christ."

The Acts Church

Saturday Gary had to work again! He is working 6 days a week and Sunday he got a total of 3 hours rest.I'm praying God will restore his strength to start all over again today. The factories are very hot in the summer and it is suppose to get in the 90's this week. I take it for granted that I work in an air condition environment, and for those that don't, the work is hard enough but the heat will drain you. He played Sunday morning at Reynolds and then set up for worship at CFC Sunday afternoon.....

My friend Maria got a make over! Imagine if you will, a 56 year young lady, with long dark hair gray mix, (who looked like she was in her mid 60's) wearing hand-me-down clothes that no one else would wear, most of which are too big, and that being all she has. We have taken her out to eat on several occasions and she expressed to me she felt uncomfortable because she didn't have proper clothing to wear. So I suggested we give her a make-over. She went to the beauty school Saturday and got her hair cut short and had a perm. I didn't know who she was when she called to pick her up. she looks her age:) We went to Goodies and Wal-mart and spent over 200.00 on clothes, shoes, a handbag and personal items and we had a blast. We were gone all day shopping and Gary called while we were Wal-mart and ask me to pick up some drain-o. We came home Maria had several bags she carried in, I had several bags I carried in and I handed Gary his one bag. He just laughed.....

Sunday night we had our first service in our new church that is starting in Paragould My husband is playing in the worship band, who knows I might even get to be a praise singer lol! and we had around 100 people in attendance. We are excited to be in the beginning of a new church. The anticipation of God's blessing is a wonderful place to be. The sacrafice is rewarding. I met a young lady from a christian rehab center(Grace Mission), she came up to me after the service and ask for prayer. She has been away from her children for 3 months and is beginning to feel home-sick. God open the door to allow me to minister to her through my own rotten background and prayed with her. It reminded me of the verse in 2 Cor. " the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble, with the compassion we ourselves have recieved from God" She was smiling when she left. I am going to go out this week and spend time with her. Because as bad as I was growing up, God can use my past to help people today. Thank you Jesus for allowing me to endure my past and use me today to witness and comfort those without hope. amen.....

The worship was awesome, the service was inspiring and the fellowship and meal afterward was refreshing. I invited friends, Dee and Maria, they loved it and look forward to next week. God is so faithful. He said " if you build it, they will come". never mind ...that was Field of Dreams. We rented it and they came......

I can't wait to see what God is going to do this week. Friends of ours, shared how awesome it is to watch the growth. We are starting with 100 people who where driving to Jonesboro to attend church and I can't wait to see what God does. Community Fellowship Church is not just a title, it is a movement. Community being the key, getting involved in community events is where you will met people who are searching for hope in their lives to make it better,
Fellowship as believers as one, not as clicks. It is refreshing to serve as a body once again, everyone being a part of something great not just a chosen few. I understand their will be some who read this days voice and think I am singling out, but I am not. This is what is happening in alot of churches. We get comfortable with what is going on inside the church and forget about the very community we vow to serve. We become complacent. We can not expect the people to just walk in, how arrogant, but to search out those who are struggling in their walk, in their life, in their sin. Jesus didn't just build a temple and sit back and wait for people to come in, He went out, spent tiime with those no one else would sit with, He loved the unloveable, and saved the lost. Their is nothing to me more gratifing than to befriend the homeless, the drug addicts, and the drunks and teach them there is a better way of life. I know what a difference He has made in life and i know He will do the same for any one who ask.

Moral of this Blog: "All the believers (the body) met together constantly and shared ( witnessed with) everything they had. They sold their possessions (sacrifice) and shared the proceeds with those in need. They worshiped together at the temple each day, met in homes for the Lord's Supper, and shared meals with great joy and generosity_all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their group those who were being saved." Acts 2:44-47