In January 1985, I was pregnant with our second child. Rick left in March for a 8 month Med cruise and I moved home to Paragould to be with family. Chad and I moved to an apartment upstairs from Nan and for the next 7 months I continued to grow bigger and enjoy being with family.
On October 22 I gave birth to a 8 lb 10 oz boy William Bradly Dawson. Chad was thrilled to have a brother and I was thrilled to have this baby. This pregnancy was not as easy as the first. I had allot of complications.
Rick returned home in November and spent the holidays on a 30 day leave and we returned home to Charleston after Christmas.
In April of 1988, Rick went to Norfolk Virginia for a Ship Yard overhaul on the ship. He was only to be there for about 6 months so we decided that the children an I would stay behind and get ready for school and t-ball.
June 6, 1988 our son Chad dies in a drowning accident. ( read June 4,5,6 blogs for details)
I t would change who we were the rest of our lives. We became distant, bitter, sad people and our marriage would not survive it.
Within weeks of Chad's death, the Navy came in and packed up our house and moved us to Norfolk Virginia. Where we lived for 1 year. It was a very difficult time. Rick left for Orlando for 3 weeks for a school and Brad and I took the Amtrak to Orlando and spent two weeks pool side.
It kept our minds off of our loss for a short time.
In 1990, we moved to Batesville, Arkansas were Rick was a Navy Recruiter. I liked living closer to home. Rick was never home so Brad and I spent allot of time in Paragould with family.
But like so many times before, while I was away, Rick would play. One weekend, Rick had said he was going to have to be in Little Rock all weekend and that Brad and I should go home. Upon arriving in Paragould, we found that our entire family had gone to the lake for the weekend so we returned to Batesville. When I walked into the house, Rick was sitting in civilian clothes and smelling like a french whore. I questioned him as to why he was home instead of LR and he said the kid changed his mind. I walked back to the bedroom and the phone rang. Rick and I picked it up at the same time. A ladies voice says " what are you doing I have been waiting for over 20 minutes on you? Are you coming or not?" He said, "Vicki just came home give me another 10 minutes and I will meet you." and he hung up. My heart sunk. I walked down the hall and calmly ask "who was that?" He said "oh it was Mac, he is at the bar and wants me to come up for a beer."
At this point in our marriage I didn't care anymore, I was so tired of competing with the young skirts he has been chasing our entire marriage. He left and the next morning I retained a divorce lawyer. It was over. I was sad for my son, he had lost a brother and now a father in a year. We moved to Paragould. Our divorce was final on May 10, 1991, my birthday and on May 30, 1991 he remarried. The death of a 16 year relationship was over.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Monday, October 1, 2007
Chapter 5...Birth and Betrayal
After only 3 weeks of trying to be big sister, mom and still trying to deal with my own demons, I failed miserably. Christi wouldn't listen, Kim and Angie just wanted out. We called Nan, my mothers sister and ask for help. She came to our rescue. She and Uncle Bill moved into the house. And I was so grateful.
It wasn't long that Christi and Phil married in May of 79 after graduation. So we spent time planning a large wedding at Harmon's Park, with 6 bride maids, 6 grooms, flower girls and more. It was beautiful and so was she.
In September 1979 Rick returned from a 8 month deployment and we moved back to Charleston into a much nicer section of the city. We worked, saved our money and got to know each other a little better. I had gotten pregnant 5 times but had lost them within the first 3 months of pregnancy. The last pregnancy, I was 6 months along and miscarried, I was in the hospital for 3 days, because I had lost so much blood. Rick and I had begin to think we would not be able to have children.
I met friends that would share our lives for the next 12 years.
Chuck and Diane, Randy and Janet, Charles and Beth, Dave and Cindy, John and Dedra, Dennis and Denise. When the guys deployed, the girls would gather and play cards, shop, and go out twice a month to eat and drink.
In 1980, one couple at a time, we were transferred to Orlando Florida for a three year tour. We all lived on the Navy base and all of us lived on the same street except Randy and Janet. Rick became a Company Commander and was promoted to First Class Petty Officer. He became a real jerk while we were there. He told 80 boys what to do and when to do it, and thought it would work with me. We really struggled in our marriage.
In January 1982, I found out I was pregnant with our first child along with Diane, Dedra, Denise, Beth and Janet. We had baby showers, went shopping together and craved watermelon. I was ordered to bed for the first 6 months. Within 6 months of each other we all had our babies. 3 girls and 3 boys were born.
I thought this child would save my marriage. Things were not good in the Dawson household, allot of arguing about the way he talked to me. He treated me like I was a recruit. Ordering me around. After he graduated his last company , he was transferred to a teaching job, and instructor on the base. That helped, he was home at a decent hour every night, and off on weekends.
On November 22, I gave birth to a beautiful 8 lb 12 oz boy. Chad Michael Dawson.
I remember laying there with him in my arms crying and Dr. Kivet saying to me, " I know this was the day your mother died, you are going to be so busy with birthday parties that you are not going to have time to grieve her death any longer." We brought Chad home Thanksgiving Day.
Things seemed be getting better. I was going to church with my neighbor.
One Wednesday night after church Brenda and I had returned home. She took Chad and I grabbed what looked like mail and a dipper bag from the floorboard and went in the house. I got Chad ready for bed and decided to read the mail. Much to my surprise, it was 2 letters and a card addressed to Rick. There it was in black and white, love letters from a PO 3rd class Rosa Garcia telling my husband how much she has enjoyed their relationship, how much she loved him and what a good mother she would be to MY son. I was absolutely floored, angry, hurt, shocked and confused.
Brenda and I were up all night long trying to figure out what to do, Rick had 24 hour duty so he wouldn't be home until the next day. I believe God planned it that way. For the next four days I would stay silence about what I knew, I didn't let on like there was anything wrong. That following Tuesday Rick had duty again. Brenda took care of Chad and I drove to Jacksonville, Florida to meet P O 3rd class Garcia in person. She didn't know I was coming and Rick didn't know I was going. I arrived on the USS Yosemite Sam at 11:00 am and requested to see Fireman Garcia. She came topside and walked up behind me on the deck. "Excuse me, are you looking for me?" she said. As I turned around, I saw this short, dark haired, olive skinned, brown eyed young girl who looked to be 20 standing there. "Are you Rosa Garcia?" " Yes" "I'm Petty Officer !st class Rick Dawson's wife." Her eyes widened, as they glanced down at her feet. I proceeded with, "I am not here to beat you up, or cause you any physical harm, but I am here to hear the truth as to your affair with my husband." "I didn't.." "And before you say anything else, I just want you to know that what you and my husband have done is an infraction and you both can be thrown out of the Navy with dishonorable discharge." "Mrs. Dawson, I have only just begun my career and.." Look, I am going to be at the McDonald's here on base until 12:30, if you will come and sit and talk with me I will leave and go home and sort this out with my husband, if you don't come and talk with me , pack your sea bag because you both will be going home." I left with that said and went to the McDonald's on base. At noon she entered, and we talked about how she and Rick started seeing each other. She was one of his students and they would eat lunch together and talk, one thing lead to another and they were sleeping together while I was pregnant with our child.
I drove back to Orlando that day, thinking about what she had told and putting together in my mind things I remember he told me he was doing, while they were together. Later that day, Rick came home from work. When he walked in I told him we needed to talk. After hearing the same story from him as I had heard from her, I had a decision to make as to whether I could forgive him the affair and continue on with this marriage, needless to say I did. But things were allot different after that. He wasn't as demanding. And I wasn't as trusting.
After we had spent our 3 years in Orlando, we all moved back to Charleston. Now we are mothers and raising our children together. Birthday parties, the park, shopping for our children and enjoying our time together. Life seemed more focused on the children rather than our husbands. And our marriage was better.
It wasn't long that Christi and Phil married in May of 79 after graduation. So we spent time planning a large wedding at Harmon's Park, with 6 bride maids, 6 grooms, flower girls and more. It was beautiful and so was she.
In September 1979 Rick returned from a 8 month deployment and we moved back to Charleston into a much nicer section of the city. We worked, saved our money and got to know each other a little better. I had gotten pregnant 5 times but had lost them within the first 3 months of pregnancy. The last pregnancy, I was 6 months along and miscarried, I was in the hospital for 3 days, because I had lost so much blood. Rick and I had begin to think we would not be able to have children.
I met friends that would share our lives for the next 12 years.
Chuck and Diane, Randy and Janet, Charles and Beth, Dave and Cindy, John and Dedra, Dennis and Denise. When the guys deployed, the girls would gather and play cards, shop, and go out twice a month to eat and drink.
In 1980, one couple at a time, we were transferred to Orlando Florida for a three year tour. We all lived on the Navy base and all of us lived on the same street except Randy and Janet. Rick became a Company Commander and was promoted to First Class Petty Officer. He became a real jerk while we were there. He told 80 boys what to do and when to do it, and thought it would work with me. We really struggled in our marriage.
In January 1982, I found out I was pregnant with our first child along with Diane, Dedra, Denise, Beth and Janet. We had baby showers, went shopping together and craved watermelon. I was ordered to bed for the first 6 months. Within 6 months of each other we all had our babies. 3 girls and 3 boys were born.
I thought this child would save my marriage. Things were not good in the Dawson household, allot of arguing about the way he talked to me. He treated me like I was a recruit. Ordering me around. After he graduated his last company , he was transferred to a teaching job, and instructor on the base. That helped, he was home at a decent hour every night, and off on weekends.
On November 22, I gave birth to a beautiful 8 lb 12 oz boy. Chad Michael Dawson.
I remember laying there with him in my arms crying and Dr. Kivet saying to me, " I know this was the day your mother died, you are going to be so busy with birthday parties that you are not going to have time to grieve her death any longer." We brought Chad home Thanksgiving Day.
Things seemed be getting better. I was going to church with my neighbor.
One Wednesday night after church Brenda and I had returned home. She took Chad and I grabbed what looked like mail and a dipper bag from the floorboard and went in the house. I got Chad ready for bed and decided to read the mail. Much to my surprise, it was 2 letters and a card addressed to Rick. There it was in black and white, love letters from a PO 3rd class Rosa Garcia telling my husband how much she has enjoyed their relationship, how much she loved him and what a good mother she would be to MY son. I was absolutely floored, angry, hurt, shocked and confused.
Brenda and I were up all night long trying to figure out what to do, Rick had 24 hour duty so he wouldn't be home until the next day. I believe God planned it that way. For the next four days I would stay silence about what I knew, I didn't let on like there was anything wrong. That following Tuesday Rick had duty again. Brenda took care of Chad and I drove to Jacksonville, Florida to meet P O 3rd class Garcia in person. She didn't know I was coming and Rick didn't know I was going. I arrived on the USS Yosemite Sam at 11:00 am and requested to see Fireman Garcia. She came topside and walked up behind me on the deck. "Excuse me, are you looking for me?" she said. As I turned around, I saw this short, dark haired, olive skinned, brown eyed young girl who looked to be 20 standing there. "Are you Rosa Garcia?" " Yes" "I'm Petty Officer !st class Rick Dawson's wife." Her eyes widened, as they glanced down at her feet. I proceeded with, "I am not here to beat you up, or cause you any physical harm, but I am here to hear the truth as to your affair with my husband." "I didn't.." "And before you say anything else, I just want you to know that what you and my husband have done is an infraction and you both can be thrown out of the Navy with dishonorable discharge." "Mrs. Dawson, I have only just begun my career and.." Look, I am going to be at the McDonald's here on base until 12:30, if you will come and sit and talk with me I will leave and go home and sort this out with my husband, if you don't come and talk with me , pack your sea bag because you both will be going home." I left with that said and went to the McDonald's on base. At noon she entered, and we talked about how she and Rick started seeing each other. She was one of his students and they would eat lunch together and talk, one thing lead to another and they were sleeping together while I was pregnant with our child.
I drove back to Orlando that day, thinking about what she had told and putting together in my mind things I remember he told me he was doing, while they were together. Later that day, Rick came home from work. When he walked in I told him we needed to talk. After hearing the same story from him as I had heard from her, I had a decision to make as to whether I could forgive him the affair and continue on with this marriage, needless to say I did. But things were allot different after that. He wasn't as demanding. And I wasn't as trusting.
After we had spent our 3 years in Orlando, we all moved back to Charleston. Now we are mothers and raising our children together. Birthday parties, the park, shopping for our children and enjoying our time together. Life seemed more focused on the children rather than our husbands. And our marriage was better.
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