Chapter 4...How Quickly Things Change

1976 was a Bi-Centennial year. The nation was celebrating its 200Th birthday and I was celebrating graduating! It was a summer of change in allot of ways. Cheryl had gotten pregnant and married, we didn't see as much of each other anymore, Mona and Becky had moved on, my new friends were wild, party crazy people who spent their nights drinking and days sleeping it off. And I was right in the middle of it all.

I started college at Southern Baptist in Walnut Ridge. I don't know why I choose college as apposed to work. I didn't attend half of my classes for the first 2 weeks. It seemed as though I thought I was on vacation..slept in, didn't study, stayed up late at night, hung out with the girls down the hall and wrote letters to my boyfriend of 4 years who was in the Navy.

Oh, yea, I don't think I have mentioned him, his name is Rick Dawson. We started dating when I was a freshman. It was an on again, off again relationship. I imagine I was pretty complex, to say the least. I didn't know how to treat a man. I grew up in a house with 5 women. He was 2 years older than me and after he graduated in 1974, he joined the Navy.

It had been at least a year since we had seen each other and I would write him often just to have something to do. He called my mother allot and they would talk forever about me and how I was doing. I was in love with this guy. He had allot of good qualities... he wore Colone..Old Spice, he always looked fresh, clean cut, he worked very hard..Big Star and Pizza Palace...he paid for his own car, and he was a good kisser:) He was a man of integrity and he loved me. But our relationship became very difficult after the rape. I was afraid for him to touch me. We broke up a few months later but remained close.

I barely made it through college and in the summer on 1978 Rick and I talked every weekend by phone. He was stationed in California and was transferring to Charleston, SC in the early fall. We would talk for hours about everything and nothing. I was living in Princeton, working at a youth camp.

One night mother called me. She said with excitement," Guess who I just hung up the phone with?"
I said " well, it could have been anyone of a hundred people, so why don't you just tell me who it was?"
"Rick "
"Well. I have been waiting for his call since 7 o'clock, why did he call you?"
" He called to ask my permission."
"For what?"
"For you to move to Charleston and live "

Need less to say this conversation lasted for several more hours with the topic being why I couldn't do that and mother convincing me that I should. She felt like it would be the best thing for us. Now, mother knew Rick and I had not had sex. And that was at the for front of my mind.
I wasn't concerned about how well we would get along, it was that I had never been with a man like that. Although with a lot of counseling, I was coming to grips with what had happen 4 years earlier, I didn't believe I was ready for an intimate relationship. I knew that living with him,well it would come up.

Rick called the next night. And he popped the question. "Will you move to Charleston and lets start our life together, I love you, I always have." He told me not to give him an answer right away, but to think about it. He had purchased a ticket to fly out in September and if I said yes he would meet me at the airport.

I packed my bags and I was on that plane to Charleston and I would figure out what to do about the sex when it became an issue. I arrived in Charleston and Rick and a friend was waiting with open arms. He looked good. We loaded my things and drove to our new apartment. Much to my surprise, we didn't live in the nice part of Charleston, we lived outside the Navy base were the prostitutes, and wall to wall bars are. Our apartment was nice but the neighborhood was not.
It was a one bedroom apartment, so I ask . " where are you going to sleep?" I could have knocked him over with a feather. Needless to say we worked things out;)

Two weeks after arriving in a new city where I knew NO ONE, Rick comes home and announces that he is going on a 3 MONTH deployment.!!!!! He would be back before Christmas!! I could not believe my ears, "you mean to tell me you have brought me to Charleston for two weeks and you are leaving for 3 months!!!? What amI going to do, this is not the best neighborhood, I haven't left this apartment for anything since I arrrived and I have a total of 200.00 dollars and no job and no car and no phone." He assured me everything was going to be fine as soon as he got paid he would send money on the first and 15th of every month. I was absolutly terrified, outside of college, 45 minutes away from home, I had never been away from home.

Well he left. I got to know my neighbor across the lot from us, they were Navy, from Texas and we became friends. Note: God puts people in your life for a season and a reason. They play a very important role in my life, although at the time, I didn't understand why things happened the strange way they did but God knew.

Rick had been gone for almost a month, Sherry, Brad and I had become very good friends. She would show me what I was missing on the other side of town, drive me to the store, and take me places I needed to go.

It was the Sunday before Thanksgiving, I was feeling very depressed and alone. Sherry and Brad had invited friends over from his ship and they ask me to join them for a cookout. I reluctantly accepted. Shortly after diner I ask if they minded if I used their phone to call home collect. I knew it would be the last opportunity to do so, because Sherry and Brad where leaving in the morning to go home for the hoildays.

I called mom and we talked for over two hours. We laughed, cried and she encouraged me to stay strong. My mother was the mother that all your friends could talk to about anything, when she smiled she lit up a room and when she laughed it was contagous. She was respected in the community, and loved by everyone she knew. She was the bright star in our family and admired for the way she raised 4 daughters on her own.

I told her if I had the money to come home I would and I knew she didn't have the money to send me. We ended our talk with tears and I sat on the bed for a few minutes trying to get my composure before re-entering the cookout. Sherry ask if I was ok and I told her I needed to call it a night, I was upset and wouldn't be much company. I said my good byes and returned home.

Tuesday morning at 4:30AM, I hear a loud knock at my front door. I got up and ask who it was. "Tommy Smith, remember me from the cookout at Sherry and Brad's?" "Yeah, what do you want?" I shouted through the door. "Listen , I don't have much time I am going on leave and then meeting my ship in port, I will be gone for 3 months, if you will just open the door I have an envelope that will explain everything." Just leave it at the door and when you leave I will get it. "okay, hey. I hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving." After he rode off, I opened the door to find the envelope. In it was $200.00, a set of keys, and a note that simple said " you don't know me, but I know how it feels to be homesick. Please take this money and the keys to my truck and go home for the holidays. When you return, just give the keys to Sherry, but feel free to use my truck any time you need to while I'm gone. Sherry will explain. Sincerely, Tom Smith"

I couldn't believe what I was reading! Sherry couldn't explain they left yesterday for Texas.
My mind began to trip out. I couldn't go back to sleep, the what if's began to scream at me, and what would Rick think when he finds out? I weighed everything carefully and my last thought was " why not!" So I packed my suitcase and was going to surprise the whole family when I drive up to the house for Thankgiving. I was so excited, I had not been home in two months and had only spoken to mother twice. I couldn't hardly wait, I thought about the expressions on every ones face when I arrived and how glad I would be to see my sisters.

I didn't leave until late afternoon Wednesday, because I couldn't sleep the night before so I slept in to get some rest before the trip. I had never driven this before so I was unsure how to get there from here. I flew to Charleston. I drove all night long stopping a hundred times to make sure I was going the right way. But when I got to Memphis I knew my way home! I went through Lepanto because I wanted to surprise my Aunt Joella who lived in Black Oak. It was about 8.am, and I had found a radio staion out of Jonesboro. The news was on and the announcer said "Two Paragould women, whose names we can not give at this time, have been killed in a two car accident 1 mile south of Brookland." My heart sank, I felt sad for the family.

I pulled into Aunt Joella's drive and went into the house, yelling "was any body home!" Expecting to see my aunt, a lady I had never seen before or since, walk out of the hall way.

Mame, I am so sorry. Does Joella and Dub Gibbs still live here?
Yes they do.
Are they here?
No honey, Joella's sister was killed in an accident early this morning and she is with her family.
Which sister!!
Oh, I don't know, the one that worked at Rosilyn's Dress shop for so long, her daughter is living out of state and they don't know how to get in touch with her....
Is it Mary Ida?? yes I believe it is....
Mame, my name is Vicki, I am Mary Ida's daughter, I drove in from Charleston and are you sure?

Oh, honey I am so sorry
Where is your phone..

I dialed the house and Nan, my mother's sister answered the phone..

Hello, Nan? Vicki Where are you? I'm at Joella's let me speak to Mom.
She hands the phone to Uncle Dub...Vicki stay there Randal and I are coming that way and....
No, I have driven from Charleston here I can drive to Paragould LET ME TALK TO MOM

Vicki I can't she is not here..

I hung up the phone and left with out saying a word. I remember it was drizzling rain and cold. I don't remember the drive to Paragould at all. It was by the grace of God I made it at all. I stopped at the end of our street. I convinced myself that I was just tired and my mind was playing tricks on me that I would pull up in front of the house and everybody would be there for Thanksgiving diner like always.

I got out of the car and at the door was the Paster's from East Side Church, Rick Fry walked out to the yard and told me the news. I fainted in his arms.

I had learned later that a drunk driver had crossed the yellow line and hit my mother and her best friend head on. They were coming back from Jonesboro after attending a fashion show, that my mother had modeled in.

November 22, 1978 would be forever a changing day in the lives of my whole family. My sisters and I were now with no parents, something we had always feared growing up after our father died.

Only God knew how we would we get through this one. I don't remember alot about things that happened during that time, I only remember my family didn't leave our side. Days after the funeral, Angie went to St.Louis with my cousin, weeks later Christy and Kim moved in with Nan.
Someone contacted the Navy and told Rick what had happened and he flew home on leave to be with me. On December 3, a week after mother died we got married in the house. On December 10, He left and went home to Charleston alone. I stayed to care for my sisters.

Moral of this Blog: God is in control of your life. He is watching over his children. You may not understand why things happen to you, or the people you encounter, or how things are going to turn out. But God knows.

Chapter 3...The taking of Innocences

I made it to High School and started to come out of my shell. Still the class clown and had meet several new friends, 3 that would become life long....Cheryl Rogers (Davis), Mona Dehart (Mangrum), Becky Davis (Varner) and we were inseparable. Cheryl and I were closer and Becky and Mona were close but we all got along. We would walk to each others house, spend the night and sit up all night long and talk about the boys. One night they had all came to my house and we walked over to Cheryl's through the graveyard. As we were on our way, Becky dared me to go into the Mausoleum, well anything to get a laugh. I did, and they closed the door behind me and it locked. I was locked in for over 3 hours, while they left to go get help! Left me there by myself, I was scared! Mom called the Mayor at 11:30 pm, to find out who took care of the graveyard and he lived in Lafe, Ark. Finally at 1:30 am he showed up to unlock the door. I was constantly doing something that would give someone else a laugh but get me in trouble.

It was the winter of 1974, we had one of the biggest snows Paragould had seen in several years. I had spent the night with Cheryl. I had called home and mom needed me to come home to help her with something but her car was snowed in the drive way and Cheryl's mom was at work, so I told her I would walk home. We only lived about 20 minutes walking distance through the the woods and neighborhoods.

I left Cheryl's house and walked beside the hospital down 9 Th street. A boy I went to school with was riding his new sleigh down the hill. His name was Steve, he stood 6 ft tall and weighed about 200 lbs. and a little on the weird side. He ask me if I wanted to ride the hill with him and I said sure why not. He sat behind me and stirred the sleigh. When we got to almost the bottom of the hill he turned the sleigh into a parked car to keep from landing in a deep ditch. I slammed into the side of the tire and twisted my ankle. He was very sorry but it was the only way he knew to keep us out of the ditch, he offered to walk me home but I said no and he insisted to at least walk me to Seibert's Grocery. As we walked we talked about everything from school, friends, etc. Along the way he picked up a rock and began to toss it in the air and said " In this neighborhood you have to be very careful." I found it strange being we had not heard of anything bad happening in this neighborhood. We got to Siebert's and the store was closed. I began to thank him for walking me this far, but I could make it home from here. He went one way and I went the other. My ankle was pretty swelled up and I was having allot of difficulty walking on it by now. I was about another 10 minutes from the house and it was extremely cold and slick with ice on everything. I crossed over to Kennedy Street and proceeded up the street when suddenly Steve came up behind me wailing the rock he picked up earlier, and began to hit me on the head with it. Striking me over 4 times, and knocking me to the ground. He was trying to remove my clothes, tearing my blouse and hitting me at the same time. I managed to get up somehow and run through a back yard. He got up and started to chase me. I turned to see how far behind me he was and ran in to a clothes line and it knocked me back to the ground. In an instant, he was back on top of me hitting me over and over again in the head with the rock. I never lost conciseness for a moment. Fully aware of what was taking place he pinned me to the snow and raped me. Leaving, he threw the rock into the woods and walked away calmly. Naked, cold, bleeding and hurt, I managed to walk to a house and beat on their glass door. An elderly couple open the door and I fainted . They wrapped me in a blanket and called the police. An ambulance took me to Arkansas hospital and a police officer went to the house to get my mother and sisters and brought them to the hospital. For several hours, doctors and nurses worked on closing the gaping holes in my head and the police stayed with my mom trying to calm her.
After some time the doctors and nurses left my room leaving me alone. Suddenly, Steve walked into the emergency room and into my room. The whole time he was apologizing for what he had done, and me screaming to the top of my lungs. Police, doctors, nurses all rushed back in to find him standing over me sobbing. The police arrested him and took him away.
For several months I couldn't attend school, because the police released him to his father and he started back to school. We went to trial in less than a month after the rape and he was sentenced to 5 years in a mental hospital.

Moral of this Blog: listen to your instincts...