Happy Birthday Brad

Is anyone still interested in what has happened in my life? I'm not. I am going to switch gears for a little while unless I get some feed back on what you have been reading. I feel like know one is listening any more. Bored or something, So FEED Back please or I am going to quit.


I'm sorry for not blogging the last few weeks, I have had allot going on. My son. Brad's Birthday, was October 22... he would have been 22 years old. It was the last weekend we spent together 3 years ago. I drove to Rogers, Arkansas and spent the weekend with him.
It was an awkward weekend. Not the usual laughs.

He introduced me to his girlfriend Brittney. I had heard all about her over the past few months via telephone. He called me every night when he got off work and we would talk until he got to his driveway.


The first night I arrived I wanted to take Brad out to dinner and get caught up on some of the open ended conversations we had that week. He invited Brittney. I wasn't thrilled about this because I wanted to spend time with Brad. I tried to have a conversation with her several times throughout the night, you know the usual .... what do your parents do?... What do you plan to do after college?.... Where did you grow up?... blah..blah...blah. But honestly I wasn't interested. I wanted to hear about my son's stuff. I tried. I was glad when the dinner was over because it was all about her and I was tired of trying to make conversation, with Brad he controls the conversation, I don't have to try so hard. But I wanted to make him happy after all it was his Birthday. We took her home and went back to the motel where we laid across the bed for hours laughing, talking and eating. He closed all the conversations we had started earlier that week and we feel asleep talking about what we were going to do the next day.


We had an enjoyable day at the mall, eating in our favorite restaurant, and hanging out on campus at the Chi Alpha house with his friends and going to see the Razorbacks play football. They lost but it was still fun.


Of course Brad was worried about what I thought of his girlfriend. I assured him she seemed nice enough and if he likes her then i do. But honestly I didn't see this lasting long and I didn't like her. She didn't seem to be Brad's type. I always seen Brad with a girl who enjoyed life the way he did. Someone who would laugh at all his jokes, like hanging out with his friends and someone who could carry a conversation. Brittney was quite, a little on the high maintenance side, and didn't like hanging out with Brad's friends. She wanted her way and I saw Brad giving in allot, too much. And maybe I was jealous. I was jealous of the time she took away from me that weekend.

Sunday we went to church and I left for home. We would continue to call each other every night at 11:45 pm he would call and we would talk all the way to the house. I miss him everyday but this time of year gets pretty hairy for me.

My health is not real good. I have been real sick with vomiting and dirrea for the past 4 weeks. I have lost 11 lbs!!! I love the idea I have lost weight but hate the way I lost it. My doctor has done an ultrasound on my kidneys, liver, spline, gall bladder and stomach. My plates are through the roof and my white count is high and their concern is that they are not coming down. my doctors feel it may be cancer related. So I have an appointment with an oncologist on the 9Th. Please keep me in your prayers.

I am in the middle of an audit on my business, that started on the 31st October. I had head surgery on the 1st of November, they took off 28 sores on my head and 22 off my sides, breast and back. Both of my company vans went down at the same time and my health is in the tubes!
Now it may sound like I'm complaining but I'm not, I'm sharing:)

I have been down for a couple of weeks but I'm not out! I told my husband that I felt like I was in the eye of a hurricane. Have you ever been in the eye of a storm? I have when hurricane Hugo hit Charleston in 1989. When the eye came on shore, it was very calm, still,and peaceful, but you know there was destruction going on all around you. That is how I have felt for several weeks. I am at peace knowing God is watching out for me. He has been very present through it all. I have been standing in the storm at peace, still and calm through it all. People that don't know or understand the character of God question "how, with all your going through, can you be at peace?" And the answer to the question is simply FAITH, TRUST, and ASSURANCE. I know that no matter what the end result is in all of this mess that God is in control.

I am reminded of a popular christian song " I Will Praise You in this Storm" and
"Jesus send the Rain". God is teaching me through all this that it is only in the trials that you find out the stuff you're made of. Well, friends, I must be 10 foot tall and bullet proof!!! :)

Well I must get to bed, I have a busy weekend ahead of me going through paperwork for the Audit.

I won't wait so long to follow up.