Any body that knows me, knows my love for this beautiful city. I have made countless trios , just spent a vacation with my best friend Cheryl, my cousin Debbie and I went for a week last year and have decided I am going at least once a year for the rest of my life. It charm, and beauty excite me. The ocean, the historical homes, plantations, islands, warm weather and friendly people make Charleston an inviting place to be.
Brad and I had a great time while living there those 3 years. We struggled with where to go and what to do every weekend, because there is so much to do. We spent a lot of time on the beach, at the parks, the duck ponds. We sat on the roof of our apartment and watched the lighting race across the sky. They call it electric heat. We went to Spoleto Festival, July 4Th celebration, Regatta sail boat races, museums, Art walk and the River Dog baseball games.
We spent a week on a private Island off the coast of Georgia. We sailed a house boat from Charleston to the Parson's Island. Friends of mine invited us to sail with them. Gloria and John took a job as caretakers of the island. It had a main house with 10 bedrooms, 7 baths, 2 kitchens, a basement pantry, and 4 sitting rooms. The Parson's own 29 islands last count. There were 4 small house where the maids and butlers lived and they entertain on the island several times a year. When they come to the island they bring an entire staff of servants with them. One thousand acres of the island is give to the Wildlife Preservation. On the shores of the island, there are different shells we could find. Brad and I would get up early in the morning and walk to the North shore where we would pick up hundreds of sand dollars. Brad would sell them to a local artist Jeanie Dickson ( a friend of mine) to paint. At around noon we would walk to the West shore a find sea horses and star fish. And in late evening after high tide we would walk to the South shore and find shells. We made a shadow box of all the things we found on the island. The island was a peaceful, relaxing place to be for a week. It is a memory that will last a lifetime.
My last year in Charleston was the hardest. It seems that everything that could go wrong did. I moved into a townhouse apartment in Goose Creek about 10 miles from my job. Brad started a new school, a good friend of mine from Paragould was looking for a change in scenery and moved to Charleston with her daughter. They lived with us for a few months while she got on her feet. I lost my apartment after only a few months because I broke the rules by letting Debbie move in. I moved in with a friends mother who was diagnosed with Alhemizer's and took care of her until I couldn't anymore. She went into a nursing home. It was the most trying year of my life and I new it was time to leave. So Debbie and I rented a u-haul and home we came.
The memories of Charleston are all I have left. The death of one son and the life of another. I cherish the time I spend their with my memories. I make new memories with everyone I take back with me. Charleston has my heart. The good memories I have really out weigh the bad memories.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Monday, October 8, 2007
Chapter 7.... A New Beginning
A new life was something that scared me to death. I had the sole responsibility of raising Brad by myself. I was 34 years old and alone for the first time in my life. But I knew I could do it.
Brad and I lived at home for 2 years, I worked at Redbook in Leachville and Brad stayed with Nan. He started school at Baldwin Elementary. He loved school and his teachers. The teacher that had the biggest influence in his young life was Mrs. Frankie Carter. She made him feel like a king.
One morning Brad ask if he could have an advance on his allowance, "mom, I need two dollars"
after school, we went to Wal-Mart and he spent the entire two dollars on trying to win a ring out of a vending machine and he did. The next morning before school he ask if I had a ring box he could have, I got it for him and out the door he went.
The rest of the story will be the words of Mrs. Frankie..... Brad arrived at school about fifteen minutes early and went to his classroom. Mrs. Frankie was sitting at her desk when Brad arrived. "Mrs. Frankie I know I'm early but can I come in for just a minute please." She told him yes and she watched as he placed the ring box on a desk that belonged to a girl names Jessica.
He then ask Mrs. Frankie not to say anything, she agreed to keep his secret and he left. He was the first to arrive in class after the bell rung and he sat at his desk, peeking from behind a book, waiting for Jessica's reaction to the two dollar ring he had spent his entire allowance on. Jessica and her friends walked to her desk and her reaction was not at all what anyone expected.
"What is this?" She picks up the box and opens it "Oh my gosh, how ugly!" She closes the box and heads to Mrs. Frankie's desk. "Mrs. Frankie, somebody left this ugly ring on my desk, Here I don't want it." Brad sunk down in his chair and looked at Mrs. Frankie in fright, as if to say please don't tell her it was me. Mrs. Frankie scowled Jessica about being so rude and took the box. Later that morning, Frankie ask Brad if he would help her get the projector from the Library. On their way Frankie pulls the box from her pocket and says "Brad I think this belongs to you. Don't let Jessica upset you, I think it is a beautiful ring and any one else would be honored to wear it." Brad took the box and they were on their way back from the Library when Brad said " Mrs. Frankie, I know you are married to coach Cater, but as a friendship ring would you like to have it?" Mrs. Frankie said yes, and she wore that ring everyday the rest of the school year. I have never forgotten her show of kindness to my son and neither did he.
In 1993, I was suffering allot of depression, anxiety, and discontentment with my job and Paragould. Rick had been calling telling me he was going to take a ship in Japan and would be gone for 3 years. I thought this would be a good opportunity to move back to Charleston, he wasn't leaving until October, Brad would get out of school in a couple of weeks and while I was trying to settle in and find a job, Brad could stay with Rick for the summer. Sounded so good at the time.
I gave notice on my job at Redbook on Monday and on Friday I was moved out our apartment and on our way back to Charleston. My family was furious. They didn't understand the need I had to go back. The only way I could describe it is when I left Charleston in 1988 after the death of my son Chad, it was so sudden, just weeks after he was buried we were living in Virginia. I had always felt like I had left something. I longed to go back for closure more than anything. I believed it was the reason for the depression I was suffering. I couldn't make my family understand it was going to take more than a weeks vacation to find the closure I needed. So I left with family upset. Everyone except my grandma Lil. She told me it would be the best thing I could do. I could always count on grandma Lil to see things for what they were and not selfish motive.
We got to Charleston and it was everything I had remembered, beautiful buildings, warm ocean breezes, the smell of salt water in the air and lots of things to do that didn't cost money. Brad went to his dad's and I went to Cindy's. I stayed there for a month, got a job within days of arrival and worked and saved money to get our own place.
I found an apartment just a block from where Brad would start school, Orange Grove Elementary. It is the same school Chad would have started. They have now built an in door swimming pool for swimming lessons to Kindergarten through 2 ND grade students in Memory of Chad Michael Dawson. We were surprised. There is a plaque on the wall in his memory. What a blessing to be remembered in such a wonderful way. The school said they had tried to contact us but had no way of getting in touch.
It was a bitter sweet 3 years. A struggle to say the least. 6 weeks after I moved back to Charleston, Rick called to tell me he was getting out of the Navy, the movers would be there in 3 weeks to move them back to Paragould!. I ask if he was retiring and he said, "you wish, I'm getting out on VSI so you can't touch my money." I spent the next 2 years fighting for my half of his retirement. I won, every October I receive a check from the Navy for the rest of his life. For the next 3 years he would not send any child support. It was a constant battle with Rick, it wasn't enough that he was cheating on his family, he didn't want to support his only child after the divorce either. What a cad!
But I made it just fine without him. God seen me through some very difficult financial situations and provided. I had to have emergency surgery in November. I called Rick to ask him to send child support for the next couple of months because I was taken off work for 8 weeks.
He didn't and I was scared I would lose my apartment, car, everything. I went in to the hospital and had the surgery and and the day of my release I came home to find my apartment had been broken into. Police were every where. I walked into our apartment to find our TV, VCR, Brad's TV, bike (it took me 9 weeks to pay off his bike at a pawn shop at 10 dollars a week it was his birthday present) and Nintendo, my rent money, and my emerald diamond ring was all gone. I just sat down on the side of the bed crying wondering who could do this.
The Week's family, from my church, that Brad was staying with while I was in the hospital, brought food a couple of nights a week for us. I was so depressed and scared wondering if they would come back and hurt us. I knew I didn't have any way to come up with any money they stole all the good stuff. I prayed for God to some how help us through this time of need.
The next morning I went to my landlord and explained or plead my case on why I didn't have the rent. he looked puzzled and said Vicki your rent is paid this month. I told her she must be thinking of someone else, "No she said "a gray haired gentleman came in a few days ago and paid it through January!!!!" All I could do was cry. and praise God o his mercy and grace.
Brad was very concerned about our money problems too, he knew we were struggling. Everyday after school he would come in kiss me and tell me he was going to the community center. On Friday afternoon, my neighbor across the hall ask if we would like to go to the grocery store with her, cause I couldn't drive yet and I said yes I needed to pick up a few items.
So I walked over to the community center to get Brad and Tommy told me he had not been there all week! I was in a panic. I couldn't imagine Brad lying to me about where he had been. Every night he would come home he would tell me he had a good time and what he did at the CC. I told Annette to go on without me Brad would be home before the street lights come on, so I waited. He came in the house sweaty like he had been all week. "Son, Where have you been?"
"Community Center" "Really, well, I went over there to get you and Tom said you haven't been there all week. So, I'm going to ask you again where have you been?" His head dropped, his hands slipped into his pocket, and he pulled out a wad of money...ten's, twenties, fives, ones...he just kept pulling money out of pants pocket. My eye;s widened, my mouth dropped and I screamed "Brad where did you get this money!!!?" He replied with a soft tender voice, "Mom, I know you can't work, and we don't have much money til you go back to work, so I been raking yards after school. It pays pretty good, I get 4.00 a bag. I rake the leaves, bag 'em, and set them by the curve and they furnish the bags." I've raked 5 yards this week and we made 225.00 dollars and I have 2 yards to rake tomorrow'. I couldn't believe my ears or my eye's. All I could do was cry. I was so humbled by it all. It was one of my proudest moments.
That Christmas our church youth group came by the house brought a tree, hand made ornaments, and presents to place under the tree. Every now and then some one who put a hundred dollar bill in my bible or a twenty in my purse. The Week's invited us over for Christmas diner, they were good friends , Gene told Brad to go to the garage to get a foot stool when he open the door there sat a brand new bike, Nintendo and TV. They replaced that which was stolen. Brad couldn't do anything but cry. And well you know by now I did too.
As difficult of a time as we were having, God provided... not just money, He provided tender hearts, caring people, love, love, love. It was poured out on us like a spring shower. It was the best Christmas I ever had and Brad would tell you the same.
We learnt what the true meaning of Christmas was that year.....It's not about what we didn't have but what we did have. God's promises. He has never failed to provide what I needed. And that year I needed to see Him in action, and I did. He provided us with the reassuring faith that no matter the circumstance, He can do the impossible. He provided us with lifelong friends. And a family away from family. He showed us who He was through His people and was sutle about it.
Moral to this Blog: "God will provide all your needs according to His riches in Heaven"
Brad and I lived at home for 2 years, I worked at Redbook in Leachville and Brad stayed with Nan. He started school at Baldwin Elementary. He loved school and his teachers. The teacher that had the biggest influence in his young life was Mrs. Frankie Carter. She made him feel like a king.
One morning Brad ask if he could have an advance on his allowance, "mom, I need two dollars"
after school, we went to Wal-Mart and he spent the entire two dollars on trying to win a ring out of a vending machine and he did. The next morning before school he ask if I had a ring box he could have, I got it for him and out the door he went.
The rest of the story will be the words of Mrs. Frankie..... Brad arrived at school about fifteen minutes early and went to his classroom. Mrs. Frankie was sitting at her desk when Brad arrived. "Mrs. Frankie I know I'm early but can I come in for just a minute please." She told him yes and she watched as he placed the ring box on a desk that belonged to a girl names Jessica.
He then ask Mrs. Frankie not to say anything, she agreed to keep his secret and he left. He was the first to arrive in class after the bell rung and he sat at his desk, peeking from behind a book, waiting for Jessica's reaction to the two dollar ring he had spent his entire allowance on. Jessica and her friends walked to her desk and her reaction was not at all what anyone expected.
"What is this?" She picks up the box and opens it "Oh my gosh, how ugly!" She closes the box and heads to Mrs. Frankie's desk. "Mrs. Frankie, somebody left this ugly ring on my desk, Here I don't want it." Brad sunk down in his chair and looked at Mrs. Frankie in fright, as if to say please don't tell her it was me. Mrs. Frankie scowled Jessica about being so rude and took the box. Later that morning, Frankie ask Brad if he would help her get the projector from the Library. On their way Frankie pulls the box from her pocket and says "Brad I think this belongs to you. Don't let Jessica upset you, I think it is a beautiful ring and any one else would be honored to wear it." Brad took the box and they were on their way back from the Library when Brad said " Mrs. Frankie, I know you are married to coach Cater, but as a friendship ring would you like to have it?" Mrs. Frankie said yes, and she wore that ring everyday the rest of the school year. I have never forgotten her show of kindness to my son and neither did he.
In 1993, I was suffering allot of depression, anxiety, and discontentment with my job and Paragould. Rick had been calling telling me he was going to take a ship in Japan and would be gone for 3 years. I thought this would be a good opportunity to move back to Charleston, he wasn't leaving until October, Brad would get out of school in a couple of weeks and while I was trying to settle in and find a job, Brad could stay with Rick for the summer. Sounded so good at the time.
I gave notice on my job at Redbook on Monday and on Friday I was moved out our apartment and on our way back to Charleston. My family was furious. They didn't understand the need I had to go back. The only way I could describe it is when I left Charleston in 1988 after the death of my son Chad, it was so sudden, just weeks after he was buried we were living in Virginia. I had always felt like I had left something. I longed to go back for closure more than anything. I believed it was the reason for the depression I was suffering. I couldn't make my family understand it was going to take more than a weeks vacation to find the closure I needed. So I left with family upset. Everyone except my grandma Lil. She told me it would be the best thing I could do. I could always count on grandma Lil to see things for what they were and not selfish motive.
We got to Charleston and it was everything I had remembered, beautiful buildings, warm ocean breezes, the smell of salt water in the air and lots of things to do that didn't cost money. Brad went to his dad's and I went to Cindy's. I stayed there for a month, got a job within days of arrival and worked and saved money to get our own place.
I found an apartment just a block from where Brad would start school, Orange Grove Elementary. It is the same school Chad would have started. They have now built an in door swimming pool for swimming lessons to Kindergarten through 2 ND grade students in Memory of Chad Michael Dawson. We were surprised. There is a plaque on the wall in his memory. What a blessing to be remembered in such a wonderful way. The school said they had tried to contact us but had no way of getting in touch.
It was a bitter sweet 3 years. A struggle to say the least. 6 weeks after I moved back to Charleston, Rick called to tell me he was getting out of the Navy, the movers would be there in 3 weeks to move them back to Paragould!. I ask if he was retiring and he said, "you wish, I'm getting out on VSI so you can't touch my money." I spent the next 2 years fighting for my half of his retirement. I won, every October I receive a check from the Navy for the rest of his life. For the next 3 years he would not send any child support. It was a constant battle with Rick, it wasn't enough that he was cheating on his family, he didn't want to support his only child after the divorce either. What a cad!
But I made it just fine without him. God seen me through some very difficult financial situations and provided. I had to have emergency surgery in November. I called Rick to ask him to send child support for the next couple of months because I was taken off work for 8 weeks.
He didn't and I was scared I would lose my apartment, car, everything. I went in to the hospital and had the surgery and and the day of my release I came home to find my apartment had been broken into. Police were every where. I walked into our apartment to find our TV, VCR, Brad's TV, bike (it took me 9 weeks to pay off his bike at a pawn shop at 10 dollars a week it was his birthday present) and Nintendo, my rent money, and my emerald diamond ring was all gone. I just sat down on the side of the bed crying wondering who could do this.
The Week's family, from my church, that Brad was staying with while I was in the hospital, brought food a couple of nights a week for us. I was so depressed and scared wondering if they would come back and hurt us. I knew I didn't have any way to come up with any money they stole all the good stuff. I prayed for God to some how help us through this time of need.
The next morning I went to my landlord and explained or plead my case on why I didn't have the rent. he looked puzzled and said Vicki your rent is paid this month. I told her she must be thinking of someone else, "No she said "a gray haired gentleman came in a few days ago and paid it through January!!!!" All I could do was cry. and praise God o his mercy and grace.
Brad was very concerned about our money problems too, he knew we were struggling. Everyday after school he would come in kiss me and tell me he was going to the community center. On Friday afternoon, my neighbor across the hall ask if we would like to go to the grocery store with her, cause I couldn't drive yet and I said yes I needed to pick up a few items.
So I walked over to the community center to get Brad and Tommy told me he had not been there all week! I was in a panic. I couldn't imagine Brad lying to me about where he had been. Every night he would come home he would tell me he had a good time and what he did at the CC. I told Annette to go on without me Brad would be home before the street lights come on, so I waited. He came in the house sweaty like he had been all week. "Son, Where have you been?"
"Community Center" "Really, well, I went over there to get you and Tom said you haven't been there all week. So, I'm going to ask you again where have you been?" His head dropped, his hands slipped into his pocket, and he pulled out a wad of money...ten's, twenties, fives, ones...he just kept pulling money out of pants pocket. My eye;s widened, my mouth dropped and I screamed "Brad where did you get this money!!!?" He replied with a soft tender voice, "Mom, I know you can't work, and we don't have much money til you go back to work, so I been raking yards after school. It pays pretty good, I get 4.00 a bag. I rake the leaves, bag 'em, and set them by the curve and they furnish the bags." I've raked 5 yards this week and we made 225.00 dollars and I have 2 yards to rake tomorrow'. I couldn't believe my ears or my eye's. All I could do was cry. I was so humbled by it all. It was one of my proudest moments.
That Christmas our church youth group came by the house brought a tree, hand made ornaments, and presents to place under the tree. Every now and then some one who put a hundred dollar bill in my bible or a twenty in my purse. The Week's invited us over for Christmas diner, they were good friends , Gene told Brad to go to the garage to get a foot stool when he open the door there sat a brand new bike, Nintendo and TV. They replaced that which was stolen. Brad couldn't do anything but cry. And well you know by now I did too.
As difficult of a time as we were having, God provided... not just money, He provided tender hearts, caring people, love, love, love. It was poured out on us like a spring shower. It was the best Christmas I ever had and Brad would tell you the same.
We learnt what the true meaning of Christmas was that year.....It's not about what we didn't have but what we did have. God's promises. He has never failed to provide what I needed. And that year I needed to see Him in action, and I did. He provided us with the reassuring faith that no matter the circumstance, He can do the impossible. He provided us with lifelong friends. And a family away from family. He showed us who He was through His people and was sutle about it.
Moral to this Blog: "God will provide all your needs according to His riches in Heaven"
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