Well, hear goes. I've got to explain myself with some one else's words. I'm not talking about naked with no clothes on, I'm talking about taking off the mask, being real. My friend says "everyone knows we are not perfect...we have all made and continue to make mistakes daily. We all have problems and we have all screwed up" So why then do we pretend that everything is "just fine"?
I believe it is because we don't want people to know how screwed up we really are! What will they think? What will they say about me?
My philosophy is they will think what they want and say what they think regardless of truth. And you can't change it. So I personally would rather them tell the truth about me even if it is bad rather than make something up that could be worse than the truth:)
So, with that said I'm going to get real.
When I was 14 years old and still in church I started using drugs and alcohol. I continued to use until I was 40 years old. I still have an occasion drink now and then socially. I had an affair when I was in my early 30's. I smoked pot weekly until I was in my late 30's. And occasionally still struggle with wanting to smoke now. I was saved when I was living in Batesville, Ark and going through my divorce.
Over the course of the past few months I struggle with resentment, anger and depression for the loss of my sons,Chad and Brad, my Southside church family and friends. I continue to pray that I will accept what has happened and begin to move on but until that time has come I will blog my heart out!, read my bible and pray for peace.
God forgave me for my past, present and future. and I am forever grateful for my best friend Jesus, who happens to know me better than I know myself. Just like my friend, I am not bragging, I just believe I am not alone and neither or you. Take off the mask and find freedom in doing so. I have used more energy trying to pretend everything is just fine than I would have just being me. my Bible says"those who are without sin throw the first stone." and
"that we all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." So who are we to judge!
Wow do I feel better!
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1 comment:
Rather freeing isn't it??! And you were way more candid than I. Maybe we can start our own "naked" revolution right here in Paragould, Arkansas. Why should the Floridians have all the fun, right?
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